Phil Krouse

Years ago, I heard that a marriage could be illustrated like a triangle. Imagine God at the top, with you and your spouse in each bottom corner. As you pursue God individually, you begin to close the distance between each other – each day getting a little closer. Even when you are not specifically addressing marriage issues, but are just focusing on your own relationship with God, you begin to learn how to live and love like Jesus.

I’ve found that to be true in my own marriage. My wife and I have been married for over 15 years, and I can honestly say that most of that time we have had a happy marriage. But in recent years, we have experienced a closeness that I know is a direct result of each of us pursing God in our own individual lives. When you do that, you really can “stir one another to love.”

Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.

Hebrews 10:24


Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

We have taken our “stuff” to God – not blamed each other. So much pressure is relieved when you know that ultimately only God can meet your deepest needs. We don’t look to each other to do what only God can do. There is so much freedom in that, because then we are able to enjoy our spouse for who they are, not who they aren’t. Celebrate what they bring into the relationship, instead of focusing on what they don’t. That only happens when you die to yourself, when you stop putting yourself as a priority. God will begin to mold you into a single unit with Him at the top. When that happens, look out for great things to happen as you continue to be a force for the kingdom of God.